Working Mother's Blues

What an angel. I have to post all my recent pics, so that my mom and dad can see their boy.

I am getting the working mother's blues really bad. I just feel sooooo guilty that I can't devote my full attention to my son. But here is the ironic thing....I never did when I stayed home. I still did a lot of housework and projects at home. But it is different when you actually go to a "work" environment.

It doesn't help that Sims has been reallly cranky lately. Which is totally abnormal for my son. He is the most laid back kid I know. I even took him to the doctor in hopes that he had an ear infection. But nope, he just is cranky. I think the whole crawling thing has given him attitude. He is getting his two top teeth, that might be the cause. Whatever it is, I am going crazy. I have little to know patience for his whining and then when I get frustrated I feel guilty that I am working and not making him happy! AHHHH! So goes the life of a working mother. So all the way home from work yesterday I cried and cried and cried. I think that it also has something to do with the fact that I am PMSing also, but I still was way emotional. Poor Sims just sat in the backseat wondering what was wrong with his wacked out crazy mom.

Luckily today, I had a lot of help from Matt and a great sister in law. They both watched him all day long so that I could get a ton done at the studio. He was really happy to see me when I came and got him, so that must mean that he missed me and that I am not a terrible mother.

Crawling Maniac

Sims started crawling yesterday! He has been practicing for quite some time, but yesterday he did it and today he is crusing. It is fun to see him mobile. Although, now he isn't content any more, he just wants to crawl every where. He is growing up.

I am super busy trying to juggle my new life of office manager, home maker and mom. It has been pretty crazy and hectic. But I think that it will begin to mellow out here pretty soon. I talked to Matt about getting a maid, which he thought was a good idea, but lets face it, no one can clean as well as I do!

The business is doing great. I am getting into marketing and it is pretty crazy. I get a rush everytime I get on the phone to sell the business. But I have set an appointment with Hummer to do cross promotion, so I am totally stoked. It is really fun and exciting to get out there in the real world and sell our business. Wish me luck!

It's a Valentines Day Miracle

Hey all, I just wanted to post to let you all know that the new job is awesome! I am having so much fun helping Matt at his studio. Sims is being such a rock star and doing so well there. Today he helped me clean the front windows, I set him outside on the sidewalk. It was such a beautiful, sun shining day. He sat there and helped by unrolling the whole roll of paper towell. He loves to be at the studio and hang out with dad more often. It is a good set up.

I love that I get to be "smart Jen" again and have lots to do. It is nice to have a reason to wake up and take a shower and get ready for the day, aside from toting Sims around on errands. I know that you stay at home moms know how easy it is to let the whole day go by without a shower. It is nice. I am having a lot of fun getting into the marketing side of the photo biz. It is fun to get out there and promote your husband and his beautiful work. I thought you all would like to see where we are and what we do. You can visit us on the website at www.jonballphotography.com. If you want to see the studio, which is beautiful, just click on the about us tab and then studio tour in the upper right hand corner. Enjoy!

So Big

I took Sims 9 month old picture. He is getting so big and so cute. Enjoy!

My new life

Now that I am a working mom, my life has changed quite a bit and probably will continue to do so. My house has gone to trash. I am no longer concerned about keeping up a clean house, so if you happen to stop by, you might find clothes/dishes everywhere. I am not proud about this, but I just can't keep up with everything. When I am home I feel like I need to give my undivided attention to Sims and relaxing.

For example: This morning, my saturday, I slept in. Matt got up with the baby, such a good husband and I slept in. When I finally did get up, I put the baby down for his morning nap and proceeded to watch ER. 4 episodes. And I would have kept going except all the upcoming episodes were messed up on my DVR. Sims woke up and I played with him and fed him. Then I got in the shower. At this point, Matt had woken up from his nap (since he had to get up so early with the baby :), and he took over the Sims watch-a-thon. Sims was fussy and Matt asked me what was wrong and I said, I am not sure, he just woke up from a nap and just had a snack. I can't imagine what could be wrong. Then I looked at the clock and realized that it was 1 pm already. Yep, I just got out of the shower at 1 pm. Somehow I was sucked into a time warp. So correction, the baby hadn't just woke up and hadn't just had a snack. So we fed the poor guy and set him out for a nap. What has happened to me?

My perfectly structured life is upside down. The funny part is, that I am ok with it. I don't care that my house looks like crap, which is quite unusual for me. I guess this is all part of the adjustment.

On an update, I am working now at the studio full time. Sims comes with me and has been a gem. He is wooing the customers with his charm and good looks. I am getting really excited about working with Matt and have lost many hours of sleep to new ideas on how to expand the business. We are so happy and so excited . This will be a great year for us. I will keep you all updated on how it goes.

Learning it the Hard Way

I watch this little boy every Thrusday. The first Thrusday I watched him, I had to run an errand to Walmart, so he came with me and was pretty good. Except that he really wanted a transformer. At the time, I was tough and said, sorry Luke, you can't have one, b/c there is no way that I am going to buy you one. So today little Luke comes with a 5 dollar bill and immediately said to me, can we go to Walmart? There is this transformer I really want. The kid is 4. So like the good baby sitter that I am, I took him. Sims, Luke and I all went to Walmart, got a few groceries for me and then set out in search of the spider transformer.

We got to this kids isle and couldn't find that specific transformer. So I pointed to a row and said, ok Luke, these are the only ones that you can afford pick one out. At that point, I saw a friend of mine and we started chatting. Meanwhile, Luke picked a transformer and put it in the cart. After the chat was over and we went to the check out. I was dismayed to find that the transformer he had picked out was not 5 dollars, but in fact 20 dollars. But the checker had already scanned it, bagged it and gave it to Luke. I was soooo horrified b/c we are trying to pinch the old pennies and here I am in this situation. But I couldn't rip the transformer out of this poor boys hand, who didn't understand anything about money. So like the sap that I am, I just didn't do anything. I am such a dope. But I learned a very valuable lesson, never let a child put anything in your cart without knowing the price first! Unfortunately, I had to learn it the hard way!

Advice

Matt and I have been talking a lot lately about me coming down and working at the studio. I would bring Sims with me of course and we would work together to make it happen. I would take over the responsibilities of this office manager. We are excited about the idea, but nervous just b/c we aren't sure how it will work with Sims. I get the feeling that it will work out well b/c his studio is low volume, so not too busy. The idea is to give the clients that come the feeling that they are family and treated really well.

I am really excited about the possibility of doing this. I have always wanted to work with Matt and I am really excited that he wants to work with me too. But I would appreciate different points of view, so please let me now what you think!

Changes

The good news is...I lost another pound last week! Yea. I am so glad that I am still on my way down.

The good news that is still sad is that my parents are leaving on their mission on monday. I didn't think that I was going to be so sad, but I really am. It is harder this time b/c they are going to Norway and it seems so much farther away and less accesible. But I am totally happy for them. I know this is the right thing to do, but I am being selfish. I broke down crying yesterday when I talked to my mom. She was packing her bags and I just got so sad. I think about all the things that will happen while they are gone to both of us. I know that Sims won't remember this, but it is still hard to think that they will be gone when he goes through so many changes. Mom and dad, if you are reading this, I am very excited for you and know this is the right thing. I just have to adjust to it.

Sims is still sick, his ear doesn't seem to be bothering him, it is the horrible diaper rash he has from the antibiotic. I am trying everything that I can think of to help him with it, but he is sooooo miserable whenever I change his diaper. Yesterday, I tried to put him down for a naked nap, but he wasn't too keen on that. So we ended up having naked play time so that his tush could air out. I hate to see him hurting and wish that I could fix it all, but unfortunately I can't.

So all in all, things are well except a few bumps in the road. I am still going to work really hard on my weight loss just for the fact that I can't remember what it was like to be skinny. I would love to have that feeling again. So here's to changes.